14 Candles

This place of contentment. Of seeing God. Wow…

We were prepared for a still birth. Possibly minutes. Maybe hours. And here we are celebrating week two. Not from the NICU. But from his precious room. That I was scared to decorate, but did it anyway at the Lords leading.
Y’all, God is good. His ways are certainly higher than our ways and thoughts higher than our thoughts. A lot has happened the last 3 years of my life that has not made sense to my heart. And instead of this being the thing that pushes me “over the edge”, it’s the thing God has used to steady me and make me better than I ever thought possible. He has healed my wounded spirit. He has cleansed my hands! He has restored our marriage. He has given us new friends and new life to old relationships. He’s still working on me and I have never felt more sure of God’s faithfulness and perfect timing. Ask Him for yourself…He’s waiting and listening to ALL who would call on Him. 
So in this moment…because we live moment to moment here… I would just like to muster every ounce of my being and tell Him thank You, again, for showing off for me. My heart needed it and He has watered this land. 
I don’t know what this afternoon holds, or tomorrow, or a week from now…but I know the One who goes before me. And He will withhold no good thing (Psalm 84). Days ahead may not look “good” but I know the Author of my faith and life will shepherd me through anything to come. 
Thank You Jesus for the glory in a life lived with YOU!
Thank You Lord for Wills, Walt and Fenley. 
Thank You that Walt got a whole entire birthday with his son. 
Thank You for 14 candles. 
Thank You that I drove myself to Kroger this morning, bought a generic Kroger birthday cake, got the lady to write “Happy Birthday” in blue and drove home to Wills still sleeping sweetly. 
Thank You for the daily bread here. Manna from Heaven, perfect provision..
Thank You that two of my dearest friends informed me they are having healthy pregnancies yesterday. I have GENUINE joy for them. And I know they will cherish their babies as much as I cherish Wills. 
Thank You for a certain friend who has kept me stocked on cupcakes. And a Little Debbie thrown in here and there. And muslin blankets for Wills and cute premie clothes. 
Thank You for my dad who can’t walk in Wills’ room without the sweetest tears. 
Thank You for my mom who has put up with my OCD tendencies and hasn’t left my side except to brush her teeth – maybe. 
Thank You for my in laws who have tended to Fenley so perfectly while we cherish Wills. She’s almost potty trained after a few days in West!
Thank You for the staff at Baptist – I am quite sure I have all their cell phone numbers and if I go too long without sending an update, they start asking for one 🙂
Thank You for Jeff Redding – where would our hearts and marriage be without You speaking through him to us? 
Thank You for medicine and comfort care. Thank You for doctors and nurses and his feeding tube and oxygen support. Modern medicine is a gift from You. Thank You for my OB who was very patient with me through the c section, as I was asking “How are we?” every 20 seconds…next time he’ll probably put in orders for extra morphine 🙂
Thank You for celebrations and life and Your word and Your comfort and our small group and hot coffee and spit up and soft blankets and cuddle time and a home and birthday cake and real, beautiful life WITH YOU!!!
And last but not least…thank You for Wills. Each breath he takes. Each squeak. Each diaper. I love his folded over hands and his sweet feet. And his long fingers. And his angelic head. And brown hair. And sometimes stinky booty. And his mighty spirit that is finding rest in You and showing his mommy how to rest in You too. 
God, You are so good to us. Don’t ever stop. 
Wills’ proud mommy

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