Yes, it’s Saturday night and I’m up watching tv preachers and blogging. I’m 30 now so this just means I’m normal. Never mind that I was doing this at 13, too, but then it was a Lisa Frank journal…

Y’all. I baked a lot this week. And my passion for it is just growing and growing. I find myself genuinely giddy when baking which is just so cool to me. Such a gift from Him. He’s fun too, ya know. In the old days (aka Old Testament) they were told to offer the best of their crop to Him. I haven’t quite figured out how to offer Him French macarons but I just really think He would love them!! Cracking myself up right now. And kinda embarrassingly being serious about wondering if He would like my cookies 🙂

Obviously tomorrow is Mother’s Day. And lots of folks are assuming moms you can see are the happiest people on earth tomorrow and also assuming moms who have lost are the unhappiest people on earth tomorrow. Because I’m a member of 2 clubs…mom to a baby here, mom to a baby in Heaven, I want to throw in my two cents on Mother’s Day. And it’s like really worth just that… $.02.

Tomorrow morning, if God gives me another day here, I’ll wake up to continue walking my God given part of a continuous and beautiful script. At times, the script feels unbearable, impossible, confusing, terrible. At times, it’s been so awesome I think I may burst into a million marvelous pieces.

There’s no end and no beginning and no title or chapter I’m particularly focused on, just walking a beautiful story with The Alpha and The Omega. Called to parent a child on earth, today, and to steward one little boys story, today. That’s it. Call it Mother’s Day, call it Sunday, call it crazy cat lady day or national tv preacher day… I don’t really care.

Don’t get me wrong. I still want the cheesy coffee mug and toddler craft and cold breakfast in bed. And I still want my toddler and I still miss my son. And those things and emotions and two kids make my life really sweet and really real. I’m not down playing the role of mom… Just wanna be sure I’m making more of Him and less of me, tomorrow and any other day of the year.

Some mamas will spend tomorrow wondering why they have a full house and an empty heart. Some mamas will be overwhelmingly content. Some will be wondering why they haven’t carried a baby yet. Some will be missing children that have come and gone too soon. I could go on and on…

But one thing we are promised, as daughters of Creator God, is that we are marvelously loved, part of a beautiful (not always in the visible) story and not one moment on this journey is wasted when spent falling in to Him. He calls me daughter and that means I can handle any other title on this planet.

Estranged.
Divorcee.
Orphan.
Widow.
Barren.
Poor egg quality.
Trisomy 18.
Mom to 4, 2 here.
Mom to 2, 0 here.
Mom to 5, all here.
Mom to 0, hoping.

And I hope and pray that any mama that has lost or hasn’t conceived yet, that God would fill their heart and home with a promise of a growing family. But more than that, I pray that He would fill their cup to the point of overflowing with Him. Just Him.

He. Is. Enough. To. Enjoy. Tomorrow. Full or empty house. Preaching to myself. His perfect love sustains. Praise You Jesus. Lost without Him.

So…signing off on Mother’s Day eve.

Lauren Bowie…
Mom to 2, 1 here.
Tired.
Spray tanned.
Baker.
Hoping.
Daughter.

To the two that made me a mama. I love you both with my whole heart.