Note to Self: a survival guide

A few nuggets for a crash course in heartbreak survival. Scratch that. Not survival. A crash course on bearing fruit in the land of our grief. (Bible side note – Joseph, who was left for dead by his brothers and sold into slavery who eventually became the second in command in Egypt named one of his sons “Ephraim” which means “The Lord has made me fruitful in this land of my grief”. If He does it for Joseph, He’ll do it for me).

1.) Drown yourself in the living, breathing word of God. No excuses. Get out your bible. Apart from Jesus you can’t bear fruit. Your season will be and look very depressing. SERIOUSLY. We weren’t made to go this alone.

2.) Repeat number one and pretty much take everything else I say with a grain of salt.

3.) Watch the alcohol consumption. If your heart is aching, alcohol can be a slippery slope. The day Wills died I was itching to just get out of the house. That night, we met with Jeff Redding, picked up five guys for a pretty sad picnic. Then went to the wine store. I got a bottle of bubbly. Jeff warned me to watch the emotions and alcohol combined, along with the fact that I had not touched alcohol in 9 and 1/2 months. I told him I had never had trouble controlling my emotions when having a glass or two………..til that night. I couldn’t shut up about Wills. Literally. Seriously. I couldn’t stop talking and crying about my mamas boy. Thankfully we were surrounded by people who wanted to hear πŸ™‚ I talked my brother and sister in law out the door. No exaggeration.

4.) I read in a devotional…if you find yourself enjoying the “poor, pitiful me” gig, give yourself a swift quick to the rear and go do something for somebody else. Or for yourself even. I highly recommend a spray tan, a new pair of sunglasses, lunch at a fun restaurant and leave your waiter a gracious tip.

5.) While you don’t wallow, it is perfectly healthy to just sit in your heartache WITH JESUS. He won’t let you have a pity party for very long…instead He will actually start surgery on you right then and there. Just sitting in your heartache with Him. Next thing you know, you have the tiniest hint of a pep in your step.

6.) Read a good book. Not necessarily one about grief or heartache.

7.) Remember that song “wear sunscreen” in high school? It says…do one thing every day that scares you. Do that.

8.) I personally highly recommend mindless television such as The Bachelorette πŸ™‚ dont judge.

9.) Currently slowly redecorating my house. Throwing it back to the 90s and Daddy Bowie bought me a sectional sofa today. He said “Are you sure you’re not gonna change your mind?” To which I replied… “When have I ever changed my mind?” πŸ™‚ seriously though doing it all on a budget and it’s a fun project to apply myself to.

10.) Dream again. Go ahead……it’s okay. Let the dream take root. And just keep giving it back to Jesus. Saying…Hey, just need ya to know, this is really where my heart is and just please help me trust you with this dream and your response.

11.) Did I already mention get a spray tan? πŸ™‚

12.) Pray. Pray. Pray. Happy, sad, devastated, panic attack, excited, content, tired, bored, anxious, ungrateful, restless…PRAY.

13.) Fast. I just did my first fast since Wills. Seriously, Lauren? Took me 7 months to say…hmmm kinda been through a lot and have
learned a lot and am praying about some pretty big stuff. I don’t know, maybe I should deny my flesh for a few days and get some clarity. “Hello, Jesus!” is all I have to say. He showed up!

14.) Count your blessings. Offer sacrifices of thanks and praise. Enter His courts with thanksgiving. Speak His word back to Him. He’s so so beyond worthy of our praise. Regardless of the chapter of heartache or loss. I struggle with this one.. I’m so much like the Israelites in the wilderness. I’ve seen Him part the Red Sea yet two days later I’m all like, has He brought me out of slavery just to kill me in the dessert?! Such a lie. His unfailing love is my stability.

15.) Don’t lose sight of the marvelous. Don’t forget all the ways He has been so beautifully close and intimate. Keep your eyes peeled for His big merciful hand.

Preaching to myself. Just a few of my nuggets along the way of “how to”…

Thanking God for making me fruitful in this land of my grief…

One of my favorites of my Wills Lamar Bowie. It’s really dark because it was bright and early the morning of his 2 week birthday. Hands down, best day of my life. Never had so many endorphins and love pumping through my body at once. A couple doctors said he wouldn’t see “weeks” and he did πŸ™‚ and he didn’t go to Heaven on Walts birthday (the day before his two week birthday). Praise You Jesus for your perfect faithfulness!



2 thoughts on “Note to Self: a survival guide

  1. Thank you so much for sharing your journey through this difficult time. We have a few mutual friends and although I don’t know you, you and your family are in my prayers and thoughts!


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