Hi guys. Happy Sunday. My day has so not been a day of rest. This is the first time I feel like I have sat still. I am a night owl… not by nature though. As a young (er, youngish) mom and wife, it’s my first moment ALONE. So I stay up til really ridiculous hours sometimes. Hence the TV preacher obsession and the late night texts some of you get from me. Sorry!!!
Kept 13 toddlers at church this morning. Then sat through one heck of a sermon by Chip Henderson. Walt and I could not take notes fast enough. Just really spoke to where we are in life right now. Basically… live a quiet life, content, hard working, diligent, generous. All good things, but definitely under valued things in this world. To take the humble road. To say no, even though you could possibly say yes. Favorite line was… “eyes looking to the clouds (for Jesus’ return) but with hands to the plow”. Preach!!!
This afternoon baked some Grinch themed macarons with peanut butter and chocolate ganache filling. Turned out SO SO SO cute and yummy. They may be my Christmas favorite.
Then had small group tonight. Which has really just become a great group of friends. And finished up a study about marriage. Tonight was about sex. Cue the junior high giggles. We all range from 30’s to 40’s and one sentence into the video and we are all laughing sporadically. Oh well… boys will be boys and girls will be girls I suppose 🙂
Now back home wide awake and marinating on a few things (duh).
Keep getting the word “wait”… it just is becoming a constant theme to my life. Like I have previously posted, I’ve wanted to chase so many dreams in the last year of life. Adoption, a third pregnancy, a new home, a bakery, a home redo, nursing school, be missionaries… you name it and I have tried to make a calling out of it. And I guess I am not as stubborn as I think because “wait” is starting to become my heart’s song. I want to linger in this home til we are bursting at the seams, then go look at houses together one day in the very distant future and savor every bit of it. I want to save up money through baking and find the right partners, then open a little bakery with the right team, at the right time, at the right place. I want to grow our family, either biologically or through adoption… but all at the stroke of God’s marvelous pen. Not my pen. I could look in scripture and find probably 250 verses about caring for orphans and widows but that does not equal a call to adopt right this second. His Word is ALIVE and I am a student of it. One thing I learned through Wills… is when He calls you to something, it’s laughable at how obvious He gets with it. And 9 times out of 10 the confirmations come through His Word. I want to go step by step with His calling and absorb the waiting/learning/training/loving in the meantime. The faithful waiting for your heart’s desires to be met is SUCH a high calling. It’s a chapter all it’s own and I am finding it’s peaceful, quiet, content.
From 26 to 29 I… married Walt, got pregnant, had Fenley, moved homes, worked 3 different jobs, started my little French macaron gig, got pregnant, had Wills, and buried Wills. Turn the page. Hello there, chapter called “Waiting”… I’m Lauren Bowie and it’s so nice to meet you. I’d love to stay here a while and be loved on by God and His Word and bake some cookies for some awesome people and love on the most awesome 3 year old on the planet and my awesome husband. Sure I may redecorate my den two times a week but isn’t that just nesting???
I’m raising my white flag of surrender… no longer believing the lie that life exists in the next chapter, the next “blessing”, the next thing to accomplish, the next pay raise, the next home, the next baby. Life exists now. Marvelously. Quietly. Peacefully. Steadily. For those who ready their eyes and hearts and ears to truly see, feel and hear. Praying I continue to find deep down contentment simply because of Immanuel… “God With Us”
Good night guys… love y’all.
One thought on “Meantime”
I so needed this word! As a wife, grandmama, and teacher, I am always looking forward to what is next: meal, trip to see the grands, chapter, vocabulary lists etc. Waiting has not been one of y best attributes, but I see the value in it. Thanks for sharing and yet again being so transparent. I feel like I know you and yet we have never met!!! the wonders of social media!!! Thank you for being you!